Today Kelty and I were running errands. We were standing in the middle of base Thrift Shop and Kelty announces ...
Kelty: "poo!"
Mommy: "Oh! You have to go potty!"
Kelty: "no"
Mommy: "You don't have to go potty?"
Kelty: "poo" (as he is signing the word "potty")
Mommy: "Did you already go poo?"
Kelty: "ehh" (his version of "yes")
Mommy: "Uh, oh. Ok, let's walk over the grocery store to use the bathroom."
Mommy walks with a waddling child .... out of the store and starts toward the staircase ... mommy suddenly sees a little ball roll on the floor ... mommy leans in for a closer look ... it's a "poo nugget" ... crap! ... mommy scoops up Kelty ... and walks briskly towards the door (thinking she'll return for the nugget in a minute before anything else happens) ... mommy walks down the staircase and down the stairs ... out drops another "poo nugget" ... crap! ... running faster out of the building through the parking lot and to the grocery store and to the bathroom. Mommy pulls down Kelty's pants and little "poo nuggets" spill scatter on the floor. Mommy cleans up Kelty and the floor and briskly walks outside and back to the store to (as inconspicuously as possible) pick up the nuggets. Mommy stops to pick up the last seen nugget ... looks up and whoa! there's another ... picks it up and whoa! there's another ... picks it up and whoa! there's another. Mommy followed a perfectly laid trail of "poo nuggets" up the staircase, down a hallway ... and into the store ... and through the store.
My child pooped in a store today ... and left a trail of poo about every 2 feet. Thank God people were too busy shopping to realize they were prancing around little "poo nuggets" scattered throughout the shop.
... for the love of being a mommy.
I'm sharing this with other mommy bloggers over at
Real Moms - Real Laughs!
Real Moms - Real Laughs!
I think this should be adapted into a children's book (for parents). It's like a modern Hansel and Gretel story.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Ah, that is so funny. Even funnier beause I've seen these exact nuggets on the floor of our house ;)
ReplyDeleteGood thing no one noticed what you were picking up!
Thank you so much for the nice comment on my homecoming post. It means a lot to me.. I am a new follower.. I am so jealous of all the places you have been!! amazing!
ReplyDeleteokay seriously, this was hilarious!!!
ReplyDeleteOMG! I don't think there's anything else to say! LOL!
ReplyDeleteOh. My. Word. Isn't being a mother hilarious? In retrospect, of course :-)
ReplyDeleteMy poo story involves my daughter's first day in public in big girl pants... and the Chic-fil-A play place... and me forgetting the diaper bag and clean clothes... and them having to shut down the play place to clean every single surface because we didn't know right away.
Thanks for linking up to Real Moms, Real Laughs. This was a REAL LAUGH!!